by Manuela Mitchell
In a very short time, it will have been one year since my husband lost his job. During this time, I have been blessed to be able to work part time, despite the slowing economy. My husband has been diligently looking for work and taking care of our 20-month-old son. Recently, as the amount of work has increased, I have been asked to work additional days/hours throughout the week. Considering the current circumstances, I agreed.
While I do enjoy my job, I have been battling thoughts in my mind. On numerous occasions, I have felt guilty for leaving my son, knowing how much he may need his mother. I often question why God permits me to have to work and not raise my son on a daily basis, and why He tolerates that potential employers are unwilling to employ my husband, mainly because of the Sabbath. On the other hand, I am glad that my husband has been able, during that time, to draw very close to our son.
In the end, I have concluded that I don’t know the ultimate reason. But, I do believe that I am working because I am able to do so. I have a gift that I can share with other people regarding animals. I have the ability to multi-task with work and my family. Now, I can see that my son has not suffered emotionally or physically in any way, due to me not being with him more often. He has a great support group and a father who has helped him learn and love more.
While I still wish things were different and I could be at home with my child, I have the faith that God will ultimately bless my husband with employment in these economically difficult times. I also understand that I don’t always get to choose my path and I know I can’t have it all. God knows the reasons for what He lets happen, even if I can’t see His bigger picture at the moment. I will continue doing what He will have me do, even if I don’t quite know the initial reason.